Coffin Rehearsal (Lyrics)

Everyday feels like a goddamned punishment. But that's okay - what's lost in three years anyway? With every second come the pangs of another mistake, inattentive veins pump recycled blood through a regretful heart worried about years misplaced. These are the resigned words from a wounded, weakened hand: will you be my muse or will you be my noose? I'm sorry, I take it back - I don't think you have to choose. Now there's something inside of me that just burns with the thought of every memory, those past and presents, the future died, I just love and hate to recollect it seems. I swear I tried to bury this beneath the surface, I built a tombstone inside my mind but I've been haunted by these memories inside these crevices - they keep the bags under my eyes. I write songs about summertime or suicide because they keep coming back to mind. I always feel like what I am is never enough, but if I could change it would be alright. I found an answer to why - it's endless entropy. I found chaos, it comforted me. I swear my eternal loyalty to the idea that we're forever sinking. There's no good that can come from what I am, or if there is it depletes. I feel time take its toll on me in fragile inconsistency because a broken bird will heal it's wings - this is the second time you left me. Tell me, did I heal what was keeping you so low? Because I don't think I did, and the guilt is worse but it comforts me if it's what I deserve. I only blame myself, but I still think you are a pendulum between the sharpest blade and the softest touch. Just know I'd die for you - but that doesn't mean much.